Working out in the powerful gym has been great

Although I believe in total body liberation and fat freedom, I don’t like talking about my “I’ve been fat my whole life” baggage. It has become a strange thing indeed. I certainly don’t mind talking about my obesity or the ways this world wasn’t built for me or people like me, but I hate to dig deeper than that. The truth is, for many of us who grew up obese, our lives were filled with one traumatic body-related event after another. Anything that can help maintain a healthy human body in the long run – watching the quality and quantity of foods you eat, exercising regularly, drinking water, etc. – all turns into a perverted, oppressive restriction system when you’re a fat kid forced to lose weight. And my experiences match that exactly.

I don’t remember the moment I went on my first diet as a kid, but I do know that I was less than 10 years old. But none of that kept me at what the doctors and my family considered a healthy weight or appearance. You can’t diagnose something 24 years after something has already happened, but I’m pretty sure it was the lifestyle and financial changes of my entire family that caused this to happen. Over the years, doctors and therapists have urged me to remember when I first started eating emotionally because that’s what they always assume happens. But I have never been an “emotional eater” or a “binge eater”. I also don’t have any chronic illnesses, hormonal issues, or thyroid issues, which makes it difficult for these people to answer a question that, for me, has a starkly obvious answer. Why am I fat? Well, I have a fat body. And I’m supposed to live in that fat body. Of course, this is not an answer they ever came up with because it just doesn’t fit with the novels and the treatments they sell.

when I was I was diagnosed with osteoarthritis in my left knee this yearI knew one of the first things the orthopedist would mention was my weight. him too. Very gently, knowing full well that losing weight can’t fix my knee but it can relieve it some From the pain and problems I was going through. After our date, I did some research of my own, and learned that every pound you weigh puts three pounds of pressure on your knees and that people with osteoarthritis of their knees, every pound they lose removes four pounds of pressure. As much as I wanted to say “fuck this shit” to everything I read, I couldn’t deny the fact that my knees hurt like hell, I had my limited mobility, and I needed to find ways to change that without relying solely on cortisone injections into my knees.

I knew that while doing this, I would fight a lot. Mostly, I have to learn to quiet a lot of my thought processes trying to take over when I think about how I eat and how much I move. And I had to stop myself from falling into a cycle of self-flagellation that I had learned through nearly two decades of yo-yo dieting. I wanted to start rebuilding my relationships with these things, but felt I had to be careful about how I did it, too. I turned to a close friend of mine who participates in strength training competitions and whose healthy, hard-won relationship with exercise makes him a very knowledgeable and passionate person to talk to about this stuff. When I told him I was considering strength training to help combat the degeneration that had and will continue to occur in my knee, he encouraged me to do so and hooked me up with a strength coach to help me get started.

In two weeks at the gym, I experienced something really special. Power sports aren’t about vanity, perfection, or thinness. In fact, they are about the exact opposite. It’s all about progression, about getting stronger and pushing yourself more, but not as fast as your body can handle it. If you go too fast or push yourself too far beyond your limits, you risk injury, and injury has the potential to erase your progress. In a strength gym, no one judges you for your size or doubts your ability; They compliment you on how much better your squat has gotten since you started or tell you to get it right next time you can’t make something happen.

It’s easy to exercise there because everyone feels comfortable, which definitely relieves some of the anxiety I have about the process in general, but I’d be lying if I said that working out was a magical, beautiful experience for me. I keep jokingly asking everyone when the supposed endorphin rush in all of this is supposed to start, and I make jokes about how my brain is wracked because all I want to do post-workout is cry or sleep. I’ve been consistent because I know I need to be, but it’s really one of the hardest parts of my day, and I never see anyone talking about how this shit isn’t fun most of the time. However, of course, there are some exercises that I would rather do than others, and exercises that I hate, well, I really hate them.

dip pull ups

As my strength coach Vinnie always says, “Every workout can be undone.” But honestly, maybe some shouldn’t? Like drag ups. I used to think that pull-ups were the hardest, toughest exercise anyone could do. I’m sure you know what I mean… You’ve seen the movies where a stern-looking character jumps up, grabs a bar, and starts lifting herself up hard. Yeah, it’s not quite like that, but the point is that maybe Can One day I will (maybe not). Right now, my hands hurt a lot and it makes me feel like my heart is about to beat out of my chest.

Battle of the ropes

People seem to love these, and I kind of got the appeal. You’re literally just swinging your arms, and you can get some relief from hitting the heavy rope on the floor. They have been shown to improve flexibility and endurance. But overall, these just kind of bored me to death. Nor is it as satisfactory as heavy road tires.

Barbell squat

I’ll keep it real with you guys… I mostly hate them because I can’t do that well yet. I know you’re probably looking at a barbell squat and imagining that it’s the amount of weight on it that makes it hard, but I’m here to tell you that you’re wrong. Zercher squat, cup squat, dumbbell squat, I can do all of those, no problem. But the barbell squat? no. The barbell squat shifts your entire center of gravity because your arms and shoulders must be held back to support the position of the barbell on your back. Every time I try to do it I feel like I’m going to go straight back up and break my neck on the bar when I fall.

dead bugs

Did you watch the video? Well, then you can see why this stuff sucks.

sled push

Everyone who knows me has heard of bobsleigh. This nonsense is terrible. Yes, awful. Look, I know it seems like it’s no big deal. I know there seem to be more difficult exercises, and there definitely are. But sled push? I do not know how to explain this. Actually, I do. OK, so I don’t agree with George Orwell’s general message animals farm Or anything but do you remember Boxer? Boxer was slowly working to death. It’s what makes me feel like pushing the sled. It makes me feel like I could turn over and die at any moment. But I think it’s good for my mobility or stamina or something.

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